Friday, March 16, 2012

A Personal Sibling Reveal

I'm going to share a very personal event in my life with you all. My brother is moving out of state and my heart is aching, seriously aching.

I've often heard of sibling rivalry, but I can honestly say that I have never felt that. I have always admired and wished/hoped to be as strong, intelligent and independent as my brother. There being only two of us as siblings and losing my father to cancer at the age of 10, I've always looked up to him for protection and guidance. I realize today that that might have been a burden for him as he was growing into his manhood and probably still deals with it today. He is the male figure that replaced my fathers at a very early age for quite sometime. So, in short Nelson got shafted.

I've always been very close to him despite being in different boarding schools 100's of miles apart during our adolescent years. But I can tell you; no one has ever replaced or come close to loving him as I love him. He knows me the best. He knows what makes me sad, anxious, nervous, scared and happy. Seldom do we ever have a person in our life that can tune in to our feelings and my blessing is that it's my brother. The person I will have the longest relationship with.

I can recall when I was 6 or 7 yrs old and our father was in NYC receiving cancer treatment at The Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan while we were in Santo Domingo for a week w/ my aunt Atala. We were scheduled to fly out to NYC and stay with our grandmother Mama while my mother tended to dad in the city. 

So, we prepared for our 1600 mile flight across the three seas. Nelson helped me pack and made sure all my dolls and sneakers were packed away. We checked in at the airport. I was half his size and very much the curious type in short I was very spirited. I'm certain, I must of been a challenge for him to control but like most things Nelsons does, he managed effortlessly. He held on to my hand and walked me through the crowd on to the plane, surrendered his window seat to me which I love till this day. He made sure I was buckled in, had a teeny white pillow and a fresh blanket. I remember my nose being plastered to the window of the plane watching everything that happen outside. Nelson read the "in case of emergency landing" pamphlets and went over them with me. Then he tentatively listened to the flight attendant go over the procedures and oxygen  mask application instructions.

WOW! I was so excited to be flying home to see my papi and mami, I kept squirming in my seat. Shortly after the flight took off Nelson took me to the bathroom and waited patiently outside. I don't recall whether he ever used the bathroom. I suspect he didn't want to take his eyes off of me.

That was the first time I realized that my brother was my protector and that I could with out a doubt count on him. And Nelson has never let me down. I've had the best relationship of my life with him. I don't remember a time I wasn't proud to call him my brother!

Now as grow older; that bond has strengthen. I still remember that little girl holding hands w/ her brother, looking up at him as he guides her along a crowed airport full of people and many unknowns yet, she knows that her brother will always be there no matter what the challenge or distance.

Nelson, I am proud of you, your strength, your nobility, your smarts and your courage. I am excited about your new journey and knowing that you will make the best of it. You have never disappointed. As the years go by I know that you are the person that will I know my whole life and the person that I will continue to grow closes to. My heart will ache from your physical absence but it will be filled with thoughts that you are pursuing your dreams and aiming towards a bigger goal. I can't wait to follow you soon! Shine and make your mark.

Take on Boston!

From a sister to a brother.

Thank you for visiting!!
Show me some love and follow me, I'd love to have you along for the journey =)

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